Taking on the heat seat on Untied, Bev Steyn chats to Relebogile Mabotja about survival and resilience. The series looks at the complexities of divorce, with Steyn sharing the difficulties of a publicised break-up involving her husband and daughter.
Hoping her openness “can help just one woman feel less alone”, we find out more from Steyn about her heartbreak, tragedy in the public eye and her recent drama with The Real Housewives of Durban cast.
What inspired you to share your personal story on Untied?
I believe that our stories have power, especially the ones we’ve survived. I wanted to share mine to show that even in the most difficult times, there’s hope, there’s resilience, and there’s life beyond the pain. If my openness can help just one woman feel less alone, it’s worth it.
‘Real Housewives of Durban’ stars Nonku Williams and Jojo Robinson at a Showmax launch.Image: MASI LOSI
What message or impact are you hoping your story will have on other women who may be walking a similar path?
I want women to know that their worth is not defined by what they’ve been through or who they’ve loved. You can lose a relationship without losing yourself. Healing is possible and joy is still yours to claim.
If you could go back in time and speak to a younger version of yourself, before the fame, before the challenges, what would you want her to know?
I’d tell her, “Protect your peace, trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to walk away from anything that dims your light. You’re stronger than you think, and you’ll be OK, even when it doesn’t feel like it.”
Do you see the act of sharing your story as a part of your healing process? Or was it more about reclaiming your narrative?
It’s both. Speaking my truth has been healing because it removes the weight of secrecy and shame. But it’s also been about reclaiming my story from speculation and telling it in my own words, from my own heart.
What would you say is the most difficult part of living through something so personal while being in the public eye?
It’s the lack of privacy — having your most vulnerable moments dissected by people who weren’t there and don’t know the full story. It forces you to develop a thick skin while still trying to protect your soft heart.
How has your experience with divorce shifted your views on love, relationships, and your relationship with yourself?
I’ve learnt that love begins with self-love. Relationships should add to your life, not consume it. And I now understand that setting boundaries isn’t pushing people away, it’s protecting what’s important.
Reality TV star Sorisha Naidoo from ‘The Real Housewives of Durban’.Image: Supplied
What does healing look and feel like for you today? Has that changed over time?
Healing today feels like peace. It’s laughter without guilt, mornings without heaviness, and the ability to look forward without holding onto the past. At first, healing was survival but now it’s freedom.
Your relationship with Nonku has been the subject of public attention. How would you describe the nature of your relationship?
Our relationship is layered and complex, like many friendships; we’ve had moments of closeness and moments of distance, but I try to approach it with honesty, respect and boundaries.
How did it feel to hear JoJo and Sorisha speak publicly about your relationship with Nonku?
It was disappointing because private dynamics should be spoken about directly, not through public commentary. It didn’t surprise me entirely, but it did make me more mindful of what I share and with whom.
How do you define happiness for yourself now?
Happiness for me now is simple: peace of mind, people who genuinely care, and the freedom to be myself without apology. Before, I chased perfection; now, I choose authenticity.
